Things I Googled During My Health Journey (0/10 Recommend)

Fifteen surgeries in, Google had become both my best friend and my worst enemy. And let me just say, that is not a relationship I recommend.

There I was, sitting with ice packs, heating pads, medication schedules, discharge papers, and enough medical tape to start a small clinic, typing things into the search bar like a woman who had both hope and very poor judgment.

A few of my searches included:

“Is this normal after surgery?”
“Why does this hurt now?”
“Can stress cause literally everything?”
“Am I dying or just dehydrated?”
And my personal favorite:
“Signs you are doing something wrong spiritually.”

Yes.
Really. Because apparently, when your body isn’t cooperating, your brain decides to put on a little detective hat and launch a full internal investigation.

The problem is, Google has never met a symptom it couldn’t catastrophize.

You ask one innocent question, and suddenly it responds like:
“Well… it could be nothing.
Or it could be a rare condition found in three people and one nervous squirrel in 1847.
Best of luck.”

Helpful?

No.
Not even a little.

What I didn’t realize at the time was how quickly information can turn into accusation.

Not from Google.
From my own thoughts.

Maybe I caused this.
Maybe I missed something.
Maybe I’m doing something wrong.
Maybe this is somehow on me.

Which, in hindsight, was about as helpful as diagnosing myself with a Wi-Fi connection and a prayer.

And yes, I had both. But neither came with a medical degree.

The truth is, when you’re in a hard health season, your mind can start searching for answers anywhere it can find them.

A diagnosis.
A reason.
A lesson.
A mistake.
A spiritual explanation.
A hidden meaning behind every ache, setback, and strange new symptom.

But not everything hard is your fault. Not every setback is a sign you failed. Not every painful season needs to be solved at 11:47 p.m. with a search bar and a half-empty water bottle beside you.

Sometimes your body is healing. Sometimes your mind is exhausted. Sometimes you are scared. Sometimes you are trying to make sense of something that simply doesn’t make sense yet.

So if you’re in a season where nothing feels clear and your search history is… concerning…

Just know this:

You are probably not dying. You are probably tired. You may need rest, wisdom, support, and an actual doctor instead of a website with twelve pop-up ads and a comment section.

And maybe, just maybe, you need to close a few tabs. On your browser. And in your brain.

Again. Speaking from experience.