When Pain Became a Full Stop

Part 2 of a 4-week Friday series on Matthew 7:7.

Last week, I shared how I had been stuck at asking. Read it here: I Was Stuck at Asking

This week is about what happened when life forced me to stop.

I don’t think any of us really enjoys being forced to slow down. We say we want rest. We read books about rest. We save Instagram posts about rest. We tell other people they need rest.

Then rest shows up wearing a medical boot, and suddenly we are less enthusiastic.
At least that’s how it happened for me.

Before I broke my foot, I had been moving through life with a strange mix of faith and frantic energy.

I was praying.
I was asking God for direction.
I was trying to make wise decisions.

But underneath it all, I was tired.
Not just physically tired.
Soul tired.
The kind of tired you can’t fix with one good night of sleep, a new planner, or a fresh pack of pens.

Although I have tried all three. More than once.

I knew something was off.

After six surgeries and sepsis in four and a half years, I had this quiet sense that God was trying to get my attention.

Not in a harsh way. Not in a punishment way. But in a loving Father way.

The kind of attention that says, Daughter, come back. You’re running again.

And then I broke my foot. Everything changed.

Suddenly, I couldn’t move the way I wanted to move. I couldn’t push through the way I normally would. I couldn’t keep pretending that if I just worked harder, planned better, or figured out the next right step, I would feel settled again.

My body said stop. And honestly, maybe my soul needed it first.

When I learned how long recovery would take, I made a decision.

I wasn’t going to waste the time. I didn’t make some grand spiritual plan. I didn’t start with a color-coded Bible study binder. I didn’t become instantly disciplined and serene. Let’s not get carried away.

But I did start showing up.

In the middle of the night, when sleep would not come, I opened my Bible app. I read Scripture instead of scrolling. I started praying over my family. I created a note in my phone with names, pictures, gratitude, and prayers.

It was simple. Ordinary. Unimpressive from the outside.

But something began to shift. I stopped coming to God only with questions. I started coming to be with Him.

That may sound small, but for me, it was everything.

Because for a long time, my prayers had sounded like this:

God, what should I do?
God, where should I go?
God, how do I fix this?
God, what is the plan?

And again, those are not bad prayers.

But I had become so focused on direction that I was missing the relationship.

Seeking is different. Seeking is not just asking for an answer. Seeking is turning your face toward God again and again.

It is opening your Bible when your mind feels scattered. It is whispering a prayer when you don’t have polished words. It is choosing His presence over noise. It is saying, Lord, even if I do not know what You are doing, I want to know You.

That is what started happening during recovery.

Not all at once. Slowly. Quietly.

In the kind of hidden way God often works.

Matthew 7:7 does not stop at ask.

Jesus says, Ask… seek…

And seeking takes something from us.

It takes attention.
It takes surrender.
It takes a willingness to stop managing everything long enough to notice where we have drifted.

For me, seeking started in the dark, on my phone, with a Bible app and a tired body.

It started with prayers typed into the notes app. It started with family pictures and gratitude. It started with the decision not to fill every quiet space with distraction.

And eventually, I realized something.

I had been asking God to guide Fresh Impact. But what I really needed was to return to Him. Not as a business owner asking for strategy.

As a daughter coming back to her Father.

That changed everything. The pressure began to lift. Not because life got easier. Not because I suddenly had all the answers. Not because my calendar magically became manageable and my inbox learned manners.

But because I stopped trying to control the outcome.
I started seeking God instead of just asking Him to bless my plans.

And that is where peace began to return.

Sometimes pain becomes a full stop. Sometimes the pause we resent becomes the space where God restores us. Sometimes the thing that slows us down is the very thing that helps us find our way back.

I thought recovery was about healing my foot.

God used it to restore my focus.
And I am learning that seeking Him is not a one-time moment.

It is a daily returning.

A decision to say:

Lord, I am here. I want You more than I want the answer.