For years, I believed my body needed more discipline, more restriction, and more pushing. Now I am beginning to wonder whether it needed something entirely different: less judgment, more listening, and the chance to finally feel safe. This weekend, that lesson came through a warm bowl of oatmeal.

A weekend of hockey reminded me that winning is not always found on the scoreboard. Sometimes it looks like taking another shot, getting back up after a fall, encouraging a teammate, or discovering strength you did not know you had.

I had planned coffee on the deck, quiet time with God, and a peaceful Sunday morning. The green beans—and my husband—had other plans. Forty-eight pints and six quarts later, I was reminded that abundance often arrives with work attached.

Treatment may end, but the cost of surviving often continues. In this honest first post of the “Notes from the Middle” series, I’m talking about the hidden financial burden of cancer survivorship — the bills, the uncovered needs, the work decisions, and the quiet costs nobody prepares you for.

A cracked bubble wand reminded me that not every moment needs to be useful. This holiday weekend, let’s make room for bubbles, sparklers, bright shoes, and the small joys we often rush past.

Survival and living are not the same thing. It took me years to understand the difference — and I'm still figuring out the living part. For a long time, I thought survival was the finish line. Nobody tells you that surviving and living can sit in the same body for years without ever quite shaking hands.

They're called compression sleeves. And for a long time, they were the thing I hated most about surviving. That's a strong statement given fifteen surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. And yet. Lymphedema wins the hatred category. Make it make sense.

When someone you love is diagnosed with cancer, you may not know what to say or how to help. A Hope Basket turns that helplessness into a thoughtful, personal act of care—one that says, “I see you. I love you. I am not going anywhere.”

Last summer, we got sod on our anniversary weekend. I know. Romantic. It was 105 degrees, thirty-to-forty-mile-an-hour winds, and I was deeply, deeply annoyed. I had other plans. A year later, my husband still brings it up. "Remember how mad you were when I ordered sod for our anniversary weekend?" Yes. Yes, I do. But funny thing about time — sometimes it reveals meaning that frustration hides. What felt like a ruined weekend became one of the clearest pictures of forty years of marriage I've ever experienced. I used to have a plaque on the wall that said, "They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning." That pretty much covered it.

For years I felt like a bad Christian when scripture went silent on me. Then I learned my faith wasn't broken. My body was just doing other work.

When I was halfway through chemo, my aunt called and said she wanted to bring us lasagna. We had seven pans in the freezer. What happened next taught me the difference between two things that look identical from the outside but aren't the same at all — sympathy and support. One makes the helper feel better. The other makes the hurting person feel better. Here's how to tell which one you're offering.

I spent years waiting for joy to find me in the kitchen. Turns out joy isn't weather. It's a garden — and gardens left alone grow weeds.

What happens after the bell stops ringing? In this honest reflection, Kim shares the realities of cancer survivorship seventeen years later — the fear, lymphedema, long-term side effects, cost, gratitude, and hope that continue long after treatment ends.

When I was preparing for chemo, my husband created a quiet corner of our living room with plants, a small waterfall, blankets, books, and a chair that would hold me through some of the hardest days of my life. Seventeen years later, I still need that oasis. This is a personal and practical guide to creating a soft place to land during cancer treatment, surgery recovery, chronic illness, caregiving, or any hard season when your body needs holding.

If Cancer Is a Gift, What's the Return Policy?

(And four other things, please, please don't say.)