When You Want to Take Back Control

I wrote this prayer last week, not knowing how much I would need it myself today.

This has been a hard week.

There has been hurt I didn’t expect. Disappointment from people I love. And now a situation with my business that feels frighteningly outside of my control.

I’d be lying if I told you following God always looks like pretty bows and answered prayers.

Sometimes obedience is hard.

Sometimes it comes with tears, uncertainty, disappointment, and circumstances we desperately want to fix but simply cannot.

The story of Saul has been heavy on my heart this morning. He was given direction from God, but when things didn’t unfold the way he thought they should, he took matters into his own hands — and then found reasons to justify it.

And I keep thinking: Lord, don’t let me do that.

There are changes in my life that I believe God is leading me toward. And when everything around me suddenly feels uncertain, every part of me wants to grab the wheel, make a backup plan, fix what feels broken, and protect what I’ve built.

But maybe today’s prayer is exactly the prayer I need:

Give me wisdom for what is mine to do
and grace to release what is not.

I don’t have all the answers today.

I’m hurt. I’m scared. And I’m still trusting.

Because even in the rawness of real life, God’s character does not change. His Word does not become less true because the week got hard.

So today I’m choosing the next right step — and asking God to hold what I cannot.

Maybe someone else needs this prayer today too.